Sweetpea goes to her first HDO

Today our homeschool coop started again for the spring term (affectionately called Homeschool Day Out or HDO) and Sweetpea attended for the first time. It is a great blessing to have this wonderful coop. Yet, even the seasoned hard core ones of the family know that it is a day of the week that beats all others.

Poor Sweetpea did not know what awaited her when she woke up this morning! She thought it might be some fun outing from all the excitement that was brewing throughout the household. Backpacks were being readied, violins and music checked, lunches packed, water bottles filled and mom was slowly and surely loading it all in the van........must be something good.

We got to the facility early, and we are so very blessed to have a wonderful facility that is loaned to our group. We helped with some of the smallest details of set-up while I gave Sweetpea a tour of where we go and what the lay of the land looked like. Then we had a 15 minute window of playtime before getting to class.

She is not taking any classes this time because she is not ready for it. She is just coping with the strain and stress of our lives as it is, she does not need to have to interact or attend for another teacher at this moment. I don't need to try to get compliance from her just yet either, we can just sit this one out and learn the ropes slowly and steadily.

She enjoyed sitting with me in all the classes and did an amazing job being quiet for the most part. We have very gracious teachers who do not have a big thing about absolute quiet so we were able to learn to communicate with our hands and to whisper softly by having lots of opportunities to practice.

She enjoyed being around a lot of different kids. Some of these kids she has a vague relationship with and a basic operating knowledge of how to interact with them. All the other kids were just flashing danger signs to her and by the afternoon she was showing signs of distress at having to handle it. Still, I was amazed that she was doing so very well with the whole scene.

By the time we packed the car and headed for home we were all spent. She had used every ounce of her ability to contain all her emotions and distress. She hit the wall, in a figurative sense. For several hours afterward she just rollercoasted up and down through the gamut of negative emotions searching for a place that would make sense. I could not get through to her on any level, she was just locked in this state and none of my attempts at helping her made any effect. I could tell by the pain behind her eyes that she really wanted me to help her calm down but then she would physically bar me from being able to do anything that might help.

Thankfully I felt very filled with love and empathy for her and so it was a rough end to a long day but not one that threw me overboard. I look and see that as an evidence of God's grace to me.

My biggest regret about today is that I left my camera at home! How could I forget such a vital piece of equipment? I failed to document the day for the annuls of history. Bad mother. Bad.