It has been said often to us that we have taken the easy road to having a family...no pregnancy issues, no labor, no rush to the hospital, no physical recovery, etc. We get insto-presto child without all that fuss and muss. Well today I will say I would suffer the fuss and muss ten times over to circumvent the pain we are going through. Adoption is horrible, hard and an uphill battle. That is not just from the 6 year old person perspective either. Adoption entails loss and grief. Right now we are neck deep in that part of adoption. Sweetpea is fighting with all her might to reclaim her former life, to regain some control over her life and to find some safety. She is very upset, very angry and I get the privilege of being on the receiving end.My cry to God is: how can I find a way to make this small enemy my daughter?
I am reaching my limits of exhaustion. I have passed my limit of wisdom, I am running on pure insight and Christ's inspiration. I am already searching for signs of change when I know it is way toooo soon. There can be no real change for a while....what do they say, at least 40 days for any habit?
Please don't get me wrong. We love adoption. We believe that it is God's heart for orphans. We have been through this transition 3 other times and know that it is fraught with difficulty but the rewards for persisting are everlasting and wonderful. It is not an easy way to build a family but it is certainly a wonderful way to build a family.As a friend encouraged me today...this too will pass.
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1 comment:
I'm going to tell you something that you probably already have figured out by now.
Adoption "ain't" a one-time thing. It is a life-long process, a constantly-changing event. It affects everyone in the family in different ways for the rest of their lives.
I'm a Chinese (Taiwanese) adoptee going through reunion, so I can say that for the adopted child, the search for their self through BOTH identities has just begun.
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