Illness: a Bonding Activity

For the past 2 weeks our Sweetpea has had a cough. Last weekend she had a low grade fever and that cinched it for me - we were going to visit the doctor. On Monday she was seen by a pediatrician and diagnosed with bronchitis and given an antibiotic. It seemed to be helping as no more fevers occurred and she seemed to be responding, except for what I thought was GI aggravation from the medicine. Thursday she has some added difficulties and Friday we went to see a respiratory doctor who diagnosed her as having asthma as well as bronchitis. She now has to do breathing therapies 3+ times a day, something she doesn't like sitting still for.

All this sitting for the therapy, which takes over half a hour each time, has made her less than agreeable to doing them. I have taken this time to play card games with her as she sits. Her favorite game now is U*N*O. She thrills to beat the socks off me and mocks despair when I win handily.

I would never have thought that just having to sit and play hand after hand of cards with her would grant me another notch in her bonding belt, but it seems to be doing just that. I am now the reluctant one to see the clock tick over to the therapy time, and stop my day to play cards. I am having to see the long term gains in her heart that can be made by my consistent sacrifice in my schedule.

I recall when I was also incapacitated for daily intervals when I was in jr. high, my mom had to sit with me. She chose to read to me. I am sure now that she could have been doing many other things rather than reading aloud to her pre-teenager but those memories are some of the sweetest and most dear.

I wonder if this will turn into one of those types of memories for my Sweetpea. I hope it will.

A Care Package

We got a surprise care package from our dear aunt and it was full of junk food. Can you tell they were a little excited by all the treats? What silliness burst out this evening. They are making great plans for parties and feasts with all their new found loot.

The Little Buttons get Bunkbeds

The littlest buttons are thrilled to be finally getting their bunkbeds. We went on a special shopping trip, sponsored by their grandmother and aunt, to buy special bedding for their beds. They chose very complimentary covers that both reverse to a shade of purple, the color of the year at present. They are delighted.

Birthday Pictures

We are offcially 7. She is loving all the attention.

Sweetpea's First Big Birthday Bash!

Our dear Sweetpea turned 7 today. It is the first birthday we have shared with her. What an amazing blessing to be her mama and to watch her grow.

She woke up in the middle of the night last night and instead of tucking her back into bed I took the opportunity to have a snuggle fest with her in the quiet darkness of our home. We snuggled and giggled and talked about what it feels like to be 7, just hours into it at that point. She of course ate up all the attention and gave me some great loving back.

I reflect back to a year ago when we celebrated her birthday here without her present and how our hearts longed for her to be with us. Now that longing is a reality and so much sweeter than could be imagined.

Yet, her ability to handle the extra excitement of the day overwhelms her easily and before it was even breakfast she had blown several fuses and aggravated her sisters beyond their limits. We will need to walk through the emotional hazards of the day very gingerly so that we will be able to arrive at the other side of the day able to handle the blessing of a birthday dinner and cake. It's going to be a day that will need a lot of prayer.

Above Average Week

I am sitting at my desk trying to plan out the next week's schedule. As I look at the calendar I am a little concerned how we are going to accomplish school and household tasks at all. This week is stuffed and I did not even realize it until this moment. We have no less than 7 medical appointments to go to in one week!

My calendar looks like a giant slalom coarse for down hill skiers.

We normally average about 2 medical appointments per week. I don't know how I was not looking ahead on the calendar to see that is was becoming impacted. It will be a challenge to get school work done and the bases covered, much less make sure that laundry, meals and dishes are squeezed in the cracks that remain.

You would also think that we would have a break for the next several weeks, and that we have seemingly compacted several weeks worth of appointments into one, but as I look into the future I see we are on par for our normal schedule.

You know what they say, a doctor a day keeps the apples at bay! Did I get that backwards??

I'm in Love with these Mugs!

I can't believe they are growing so quickly!

I am one blessed Mama!

A New Kind of Crazy

We have taken the last 2 months and sorted through our possessions and cleaned out our closets in preparation for a yardsale to raise money to meet the rising costs of this adoption. We have come to realize that with any adoption the numbers you plan on and the numbers that you end up with when you are done are two distinct tallies. I am not a fan of this game. I would not do well in the construction business I fear. I want to come in on time and under budget. Doesn't happen in building a house and it sure has never happened in an adoption. This time is no exception as fees are accumulating and expenses adding that we were not informed of beforehand.

Yet, unlike construction you cannot choose to go with a lower grade of flooring or switch out the fixtures. The kid you love is the kid you love and nothing will keep you from going forward.... nothing that is except cold hard cash to pay for the procedural legalities. I think it is the one sad fact that keeps great kids out of great, loving families .... that mammoth gap of fiscal ability to pay for the legality.

We have pleaded and applied for a reduction of fees regarding this adopting given the circumstances and given the fact that we were taken unawares by the multitude of medical needs that would require so much money. We have met a brick wall in every turn, even those working within the system are a little surprised to find no give in their organizations.

So we are working all the angles we know, and one of the least favored by my dearest is the dreaded YARDSALE. Yet, it is our greatest opportunity barring more unpleasant sacrifices that could be made i.e. kidney donation (that's a joke, really). Our friends rallied around us when they heard we were having the fundraiser and donated lots of their good stuff to us. So much so, that our garage was full to the rafters with saleable items.

We were blessed and all ready to hold the sale last weekend when weather impeded our progress so we rescheduled for today. We prayed all week for great weather and we advertised all over the place. Today was beautiful and we had a crew of 3 families come and help us haul it all out early this morning and set it up for sale. Friends lent us tables and even one friend gave us the seed money for the cash box! What great friends!!!

We had a fair amount of traffic but the one thing we hadn't factored in was that we were near to a flea market and everyone stopped there first and spent all their easy cash before coming over to our place. You should have seen our place -- corner to corner display of great, good merchandise all for the taking at rock bottom, out the door prices. There were antiques at real show stopping prices and some great buys along with a flood of run of the mill yardsale items. I was surprised at what sold and what did not and to whom. Then there was the guy who haggled down a $10 item to $3, and before he got it to the car changed his mind and brought it back for a refund. No problem, we sold the thing full price within the hour, but it was funny!

There was also a great chance to sew goodwill within our neighborhood as lots of folks had come looking if not buying. We gave toys to the kids and of course the buttons had handfuls of lollipops to give away as their job during the day. You would think that I would have at least one photo from the day but NOOOOOOO I was too busy to even think about it.

In the end we sold about a third of the loot, took about 5 trailer loads to Good*will and put the remaining third of the best quality loot back into the garage to decide what it's fate shall be at another time, when we are not so exhausted. Nothing came back into the house, except for the kids.

After all this work the eager buttons gathered around the table as we counted the money. Amazingly, even with the spendthrifts, we still made a profit of $600! Woohoo, God is great! We are exhausted.

10 Months

Today marks the passage of our 10 month anniversary with Sweetpea. We are amazed that it has been 10 months while at the same time we scratch our heads and say, "it can't only be ten months, it feels much longer to us". She is elated that today is a special marker. In lieu of celebration amidst our hectic day we popped marshmallows into the cheeks of all four buttons and played a silly round of "Chubby Bunny" with strawberry flavored ones of coarse for we are girlie girls! (The strawberry ones are pink, I cannot vouch for their taste but they sure look cute!) She is delighted to be delighted in even with a small celebration. I hugged her more than usual today and told her that I was so glad that she is a part of our family.

Recently something happened that hasn't happened in a long time and it caught my attention. She caught a moment of an infomercial of a steaming floor cleaner, I'm sure you have seen this lately too, and she joined the chorus of young voices who longed to have such a product. (Okay, I will admit yet another time my children are strange, even to me. Longing for a floor cleaning product at such tender ages can mean a lot of things but it doesn't mean that they like to clean the floors, just that they are acquainted with such tasks once in a while. Why they wish to own such a device rather than a doll or toy is beyond me.) Sweetpea went on to say that she recognized that she had no money to buy such an expensive product right now but that she would have her husband buy it for her when she got married.

This line of thought happened hundreds of times a day when she first came to us. Anything she wanted and was seemingly denied she would intone about this future husband marrying her, getting a job with lots of money at which time she would beg him for the money to buy the desired item. For the longest time she had a story about this husband buying her a hotdog truck and driving it around so she could sell the hotdogs. Eventually she allowed me into the story by creating a job position for me as the mustard dispenser, but not the ketchup, it was too valuable!

So when she made mention of this mythical husband the other day it was said softly almost like a distant echo. I caught it and realized that she had not said that for a very long time, that she was growing out of her need to hold onto her story. Also her past constraints of how she understands the world are beginning to shift, for she lives in a family where the wife is well loved and never needs to beg the husband for money. The wife also does not wish to live in a hotdog truck! It just isn't my cup of tea.

These are really subtle changes in her that I could easily miss. I am so glad that God is using a highlighter to show them to me when they occur so that I will rejoice in what He is doing in her heart.

Yes, we are alive

I realize that it has been a while since the last post. I have been getting heckled. A lot. A lot of heckling from a certain corner and so I have caved to the pressure and amidst my crazy busy life I am squeezing in a moment to blog and say we are still all breathing. I promised. I promised that if my heckler would go far, far away.... like say to Japan I would consider posting. Today the heckler left for Japan and I am keeping my promise.

It's just zany things like this that make this quirky life so very tolerable.

Today.

Today felt like plunging off a bridge into freezing water. No matter how much you prepare for the moment of impact and know that the water is going to be breathtakingly cold, you cannot steal yourself enough against the onslaught. Preparation on par with the grit of MacArthur's troops is equal to this momentous task. And it is done yearly, amazing!

I am of course waxing poetic about matters educational. School. While although we officially started lessons over 3 weeks ago today was the moment of impact where we join the frenzy of weekly cooperative education, at which I teach 2 classes and wear many other hats while juggling the class schedules of the 4 children for whom I gleefully join this circus.

If I sound delusional, or if this does not make near enough sense, one must chalk it up to serious lack of sleep for the last 4 days and the physical exhaustion of a near marathon day today.

But I just want the credit for posting, sense or no sense. I survived this incredibly big day of the beginning of coop and I took a moment to record this sense of victory.

Perhaps tomorrow I shall emerge from the frigid water and inhale a sweet lungful of air - relief.

Praise

We got back a little while ago from the hospital. I am wrung out but so very grateful to God that he saw us through this little trial. Every request of my heart was not only answered but met with more than I could have hoped for.

Sweetpea handled not eating or drinking all day long remarkably well. We were kind to not let anyone eat in front of her so that it was not testing her endurance. She handled the intake and prep very well. When it got to the real stuff she started having great anxiety but never to the level she has shown in the past! We were also so pleased to find a wonderful Child Life Specialist at our disposal with lots of things to engage her and let her play doctor, she even got to place a real live IV line into a doll!!!! What a thrill for her.

She resisted her own IV line going in, but again not as much as in times past......in took only 4 adults today instead of the 6 of last time to hold her down. She also resisted falling asleep and started to get wild instead, which they said was a normal variable. Once asleep she wanted to stay asleep through recovery. We had a hard time waking her up. We could only get her to come around after enticing her with food, cookies and lemonade, which she snacked on and rolled back for another snooze!

We got her home and she was jello girl. Watch her wiggle, see her jiggle....if it weren't so serious it would have been comical. We had to help her walk and escort her everywhere. She really wanted to go out to dinner afterward and do something special but after all was said and done she barely made it to bed without becoming one with the floor.

Thank you to each one of you who held us up in prayer and encouraged us throughout the day. Your care eased our burden and pointed us to the only real peace there is, the peace offered by Christ.

Happy Birthday Big Brother

Wishing my big brother a very happy birthday.......

may you forever be outstanding in your field!

Big Day Thursday

This week has been really busy and I have been thankful for the activity because it has kept my mind from worrying about tomorrow, and yet tomorrow is looming large before me now. Sweetpea is going into Children's Hospital for a proceedure and will be under sedation and this bears risks for her more so than other children. I feel the pull to worry, and yet we have faith that God is in control, leading us and protecting her......so why am I in a funk over the risks?

I would be really blessed to know that people were praying for her. We go in at noon and they are saying that we cannot expect to be discharged before 6, if all goes well. Pray that I will walk in peace and that I will be able to give that peace to Sweetpea as she is not the most relaxed kiddo in a medical environment given her history. Pray that God is glorified in all that He wills and that our faith will grow as we tend to our beautiful little princess and her needs.

Also please pray for pleasant staff as each time it is difficult to explain our unique situation and each person has a spin on our situation, oftentimes it is not a positive or healthy one for Sweetpea to overhear. We are constantly challenged as to our position as her parents because it is the norm to see us as "foster parents" with no long term stake in the care of this child, rather than her full parents who are waiting for the legal machines to catch up with the realities of the heart.

o, the lengths we will go

Happy Anniversary T and G, we celebrated your day your way. Can you guess?

We went all in for cow today and for our endeavors we were rewarded with delicious food. We also were rewarded with meeting lots of friends who equal if not exceed our strangeness with their own brand of "unique". Some identities have been concealed to protect their dignity.

................that's the END, and I'm not telling any tall TAILS.

Blueberry picking

We were invited by some friends to join them in a clandestine raid on a blueberry patch. Even after 2 hours I think the blueberries were winning. We ate as much as we could hold and put the rest into buckets to carry home. The blue in our hands may eventually wash off, undeniable evidence that we were indeed the culprits of the blueberry scandal!

A 5K Fourth of July!

The day dawned early and we were up and getting ready to run the first race of our careers, the 5K. The 8 year old, the 6 year old and the 5 year old coaxed their dear old dad to run with them and we were off to the races!!!

These 3 buttons were the races youngest contenders. They were mighty proud to pin on their race numbers and line up at the back of the pack. There were some serious "out-for-blood" runners in the race and then there were some that had definitely just showed up to run with no training or serious thought about it.

The girls were briefed as to the water stations and looked forward to being able to "stop" at the 2 of them to take a break. When the time came there was no stopping and much to their disgust people where throwing their cups on the ground!!!! NO WAY - LITTERING!!! They were aghast. Seriously, their Baba had to command them to throw down their cups, otherwise they would have run the rest of the race with cups in hand! Too funny. I assured them later that the water station people gladly picked up all the cups and not a cup was left, it was the rule of the race....don't know if they really believed me though.

After tailing them for the start of the race and making sure they made it up "Killer Mountain" where I was afraid littlest button would take a fall and seeing blood not be able to continue the race (which of course she did fall but having been told to wear capri's and gloves the knees and hands were saved from injury and she went on unscathed) we wiggled into the middle of the race course to meet them at a corner to cheer them on. My Beloved was so happy to see Top Button and I as they came around that corner. He said it gave everyone an energy boost and they sprinted to go past us giving us thumbs up.

It was the perfect weather for the race and even one family had a sprinkler on the coarse to coll down the runners who wanted to run through it. The kids enjoyed their time. They enjoyed most seeing their rooting section pop up around corners where we could get to the race coarse. They knew when the end was near and they put their all into it to cross that finish line with their time recorded. Second Button was first in our group and then littlest Button, then Baba, lastly Sweetpea. Their best training time for a 5K has been 50 minutes. On race day they all came in under 38 minutes, which was Sweetpea's time. What great progress, all new personal bests!

After the race they indulged in liquid refreshment and bananas.......the reward of champions. Then we went to the parade and had an excellent but quiet 4th of July. They are already talking about their next race and planning how they are going to do it differently. We will have to see, this racing thing can get out of hand and poor Baba will have to really start loving running to encourage such optimism.

We missed the fireworks as everyone was ready for bed long before sunset. This year we only dreamt of pyrotechnics.

Beauty and the .......exhausted tribe

It was jubilant and wondrous, fabulous and grand. I am so thankful that God gave my button this opportunity to participate in this program and as we soar on the heights of a job well done we also recognize that it has been so exhausting.

We ended the 2 live performances today with a break down of the set and a total clean up of the building we were using before everyone headed over to a cast pool party where they indulged in excesses of sugar and giddy laughter. I was grateful that the car can drive itself home because by the time we we leaving we were melted.

Up to my Eyeballs in Beauty.....

Beauty and the Be*ast that is! My oldest button is at a drama intensive camp for the last week. When she auditioned for the program and got cast to play the part of "Chip" the little teacup I really thought this would be a great thing for her. I had no idea that when they said it was an "INTENSIVE" they really meant that included the whole family.

The rest of the buttons have been very supportive and helpful as we have been spending all of our waking hours working on the play. It is quite an undertaking they have cut out for themselves. In 10 days they take a group of green teens with the desire to act, some with experience and some not, and not only teach them how to sing and act but also produce the entire musical and then perform it live TWICE on the tenth day.

A little on the crazy side, but that's theater for you. Living large and crazy and praying that it comes out well.

To balance out all this craziness the rest of the buttons are hard at work training for their first 5K. They have decided that the July 4th 5K is the race to do and so we have ourselves quite a lot to accomplish in a short time. It is going to be a very interesting (read: riotous) week.

Pray for me.

Fanatical Racers

I am not complaining. There is nothing in this world that would make me complain about these crazy, lovely girls I am raising .... but I am perplexed beyond words as to why they have become such nuts over running.

It seems as the days go by they get MORE obsessed with running. They wake up and I find them staring me into consciousness, willing my eyes to open the slightest so they can ask the question burning on their brilliant minds for the nanoseconds they have been awake....."can we go running today?"

Monday they made a new personal best of 2 miles. Tuesday morning while waiting for time to get dressed for our court date they went out and put 1.6 miles under their belts, just to cut the tension. They took the dog with them and the dog barely made the circuit, and we think he slept for the rest of the day. After a gruelingly long day today they begged their Baba to take them running after dinner. They made a new personal best of 2.5 miles!

I went out to pick them up and they were so proud of themselves. My sweet hubby was limping slightly as his new shoes are breaking in his feet a little (he's had his new running shoes for over 2 years already and still live in the box, so rarely have they been used before). After being so eager to tell me about their run they pled with me to let them out of the car so they could run all the way home. Baba made the ruling on that one, no.

I marvel at how God has created their unique hearts and what so easily captures their imaginations. This running thing is Second Button's natural forte, she's an easy athlete but unfocused on what she wants to really do, except that is for running. She has pulled all the others into her love for stretching her limbs and feeling the wind under her feet.

Summers around here are usually filled with water and lots of swimming from May through September. We have yet to be immersed, it's such a shame. With all this strange weather pool time hasn't been an option. I would never have thought this summer would have been a summer of running instead of swimming.........it's rocking my world, help what planet am I on?!!!!

Glorious

Done
Done
DONE
Our court appointment went very well. God blessed us greatly. Firstly and not to be overlooked the buttons were dressed sweetly with nary a stress, and four hairdos with no angst. Fifteen minutes to departure and I still was undressed and unstyled but THEY looked great!

We got to the building with a full half hour to spare and got on street parking right in front of the building.......unheard of, sincerely. There was even time still left on the meter.

As we passed through the metal detectors the guards were more interested in making comments and admiring the girls then checking the bags and noticing that people in our party were setting off the machines. We have been here before and this was not the regular atmosphere. I felt we were breathing rarefied air today.

All through the building our little band did attract quite a bit of attention. The kids didn't seem as bothered by it as usual as their minds were preoccupied with the coming events. Our lawyer met us in the upstairs lobby and went over the details of the day and buzzed between us and the other families he was representing. We were one of 5 adoptions slated on the judges docket.

We went third. The courtroom was spacious and empty as it was closed to the public. Marvelous M took off his lunch hour and showed up right in time to be our photog guy. We sat across a wide table from the judge, the same one the B's and the K's had had, which was helpful in showing the girls his picture beforehand. The proceedings started and I felt like I was at an auction. Both the judge and the lawyer spoke sooooooo quickly that I had to listen with all my strength to follow along. There were several errors and I jumped in to stop them so that the errors could be corrected. Towards the end I realized that maybe I should have raised my hand or given some nod to the legal hierarchy when I wanted to interrupt but I really was barely holding my own in trying to get it corrected before they had gone to the next page.

The kids did really well. The littlest ones stood between us as we were seated. Second button stood beside her Baba and read a book and wondered as we stood up when it would begin, she had missed the whole thing because she was waiting for some "action" and not just the words. Top Button sat behind us and watched but did not really understand much.

The only time that was troubling was towards the end of the proceeding and the judge asked the lawyer if he knew whether the first parents would show up today. For the record the judge stated the date and time and took a moment to stare at the closed door to the courtroom. Sweetpea turned to look at the door with a jolt and a face of horror as if she fully expected them to walk through at that moment. I pulled her close and knew what she could not tell me right then. The judge continued on and with each passing minute her tense body began to relax.

It ended just as anti-climatically as it had begun and poor Sweetpea also wanted action. She wanted more than just words from this judge. She wanted him to "do" something, to signify what had happened esoterically on paper to satisfy the demands of the legal system. She wanted him to "cut the line" between her and the first family. He, of course, did not understand what she was talking about or why she would want such a thing.

We all stood up and posed for pictures. Which I will post later. Right now sleep is overtaking me. The judge asked that we send him a copy of the picture as he has a large scrapbook he keeps of all the families he has worked with, that speaks highly of him.

We exited the courtroom as they called the next family and we gathered in the hallway and the 6 of us did the happy dance. It was silly and it was great -- and the lawyer acted like he had no clue. Oh well, one must celebrate the big things in life and break out in dance. Six danced.

Then we walked hand in hand out of the building into the glorious sunshine and drank in the goodness of God!

We go back for the final hearing in January.

Until then we continue with visits from the social worker and reports to the court.