Another Step Closer

Today we went to church for the first time as a family. It was wonderful to be back. It was hard on Sweetpea though. She felt very unsafe being in such a large crowd of people. For the most part people ignored her which was just great, perfect for her. She also saw a few people who she has met through the past two weeks and I could see the sparks of recognition in her eyes. She started asking when we could go home about 5 minutes in.......that made for a very long service! She did manage to modulate her voice enough to allow us to stay in service through the message, although I was fully prepared to not make a big deal about leaving if she wasn't going to be able to stay quiet. I gave her and smallest button gum halfway through the sermon and that actually kept them busy for the rest of the time. Anyone want to take bets on whether that trick will work again next week?

After church we went home and lunched and prepared for a visit from the social worker. We have a great social worker, Susan, who has been working with us through these past few months of bringing Sweetpea back to the states. She is now the legal arm of reporting to make sure that the child is well cared for in our home and under our supervision while the process of the adoption takes place through the courts. Like clockwork we had a major incident of Sweetpea banging littlest button over the head with the tambourine and howls of pain ensuing. She got to see our parenting in action. It was one of the most chaotic meetings I have had to pull my brain around but we got through it and I think all the details were correct. At least we get to see her reports before she posts them to fact check them once more.

Looking forward to the week ahead. I am looking forward to getting into a rhythm even if its a choppy one. It has been a big two weeks and I am grateful to go to bed in a few minutes. I have never been so grateful for sleep before, it is my reward at the end of the day! So sad, I sound old.

Oh, before I forget, we found out today what the snow whites were that Sweetpea wants on the Christmas tree. Good thing we didn't jump into investing in the Disney themed Christmas, she means SNOWMEN when she says snow whites! Cute!

It's our 2 week anniversary today. God is so faithful.

Mia Culpa

I skipped a day yesterday as I just couldn't find the time to blog and boy did I hear about it today!

I am so glad that many are praying us through this time of transition and that following the blog is helping. I am amused as I live in my little capsule that anyone else is even checking in, much less following with baited breath.

So here is a quick installment for today as I snatch time away from the kiddos. The oldest button is reading to Sweetpea at the moment. It seems that Sweetpea is acquiring a love for books to match her sisters. That will be a blessing.


This afternoon we got ambitious and decorated a gingerbread house. Even Sweetpea got into the action and the kids loved it. Sugar was everywhere and the little buttons needed baths afterward but it was well worth the memory. It seems that Sweetpea is already anticipating Christmas, we are trying to dig out of her what her expectations are and past experiences have been. So far we have a tree with snow white on it, many snow whites. Okay, not too sure what that means.

Thanks Be to God

Today was a wonderful family day, made more bright and wonderful by having Sweetpea home with us. I remember thinking not so long ago that she might not be here with us for this, and now to have her here was so lovely.

The main event besides being grateful and eating turkey with our special friends was the losing of the front tooth. Sweetpea took out some anxiety on a slightly loose front tooth and literally yanked it from her head after dinner. No doubt it will no longer bug her and aid in her overall enjoyment of food, but it gives me the chills when my children do such things.

Mama just had to introduce her to the family tradition of whipped cream on the nose. She loved it and wanted it with every bite, it only happens with the first though. She sniffed the pie and refused it but after much urging to try a bite she inhaled the piece and asked for more.

An Outing

Last night Sweetpea got almost a full night's sleep, with minimal wandering during the night. I got my first good night's sleep in a long time and woke up with a new perspective on life! Funny how sleep deprivation really can challenge you!

So today went so well, yes there were the 100 challenges before breakfast and more after but things kept going back to an even keel instead of the slow decline. After lunch I announced that I thought we might be able to go to the library. Well the other 3 were delighted as the library is as good as the candy store in their eyes. (I love that about them. I have always loved the library myself.) It takes a while to get the gear on and all the while Sweetpeas anxiety is cranking into high gear. She is so afraid that when we leave the house that she will be sent away, left somewhere or that the little safety she knows will be striped from her without warning. She has good cause to believe this as life has pretty much proven out that pattern for her. Yet, no amount of talk will quell the fear, and she hasn't any way to trust us yet.

We get to the library without incident and she cannot believe there is such a place! How much they cost? How much this cost? How much money all this? We stay and read and enjoy a few minutes. She sees the computers and want to play games. I tell her no and wait for the impending meltdown from being denied something. Remarkably, it passed over her face and didn't come! I was surprised and on my toes because off she sprinted to something else that caught her eye-------puzzles! Well, yes, you can sit here and do puzzles, that would be fine. Soon, too soon for all other involved in my party I called it a day and we went to check out the 1 book each that I was allowing this trip.

At the checkout the octopus arms kept me busy trying to keep all the things on the desk to not fly through the air. With bounty in arms we left the building in one piece and returned to the car without incident. Making it home I noticed that not only did she seem relieved she seemed calm and did not act out on her previous anxiety. That was such a blessing.

I was praising God for a successful outing. One small step for mama, one giant step for family time!

What day is this?

• migraine today rained on my parade
• two kids under the weather
• took all expectations off the list for the day, just lived as it came
• gave the adoption lawyer all our paperwork from the parents in Singapore to begin the actual adoption procedure in the courts
• Carmelita, the caregiver, tried to contact us today. I helped Sweetpea write an email to her and we sent a photo with it as well. Hope that when contact is made it will be positive as Sweetpea is still deeply grieving.

Adoption ain't for Ninnies!

It has been said often to us that we have taken the easy road to having a family...no pregnancy issues, no labor, no rush to the hospital, no physical recovery, etc. We get insto-presto child without all that fuss and muss. Well today I will say I would suffer the fuss and muss ten times over to circumvent the pain we are going through. Adoption is horrible, hard and an uphill battle. That is not just from the 6 year old person perspective either. Adoption entails loss and grief. Right now we are neck deep in that part of adoption. Sweetpea is fighting with all her might to reclaim her former life, to regain some control over her life and to find some safety. She is very upset, very angry and I get the privilege of being on the receiving end.

My cry to God is: how can I find a way to make this small enemy my daughter?

I am reaching my limits of exhaustion. I have passed my limit of wisdom, I am running on pure insight and Christ's inspiration. I am already searching for signs of change when I know it is way toooo soon. There can be no real change for a while....what do they say, at least 40 days for any habit?

Please don't get me wrong. We love adoption. We believe that it is God's heart for orphans. We have been through this transition 3 other times and know that it is fraught with difficulty but the rewards for persisting are everlasting and wonderful. It is not an easy way to build a family but it is certainly a wonderful way to build a family.

As a friend encouraged me today...this too will pass.

The Crew is Down for the Count

Well after such an eventful and stressful week the whole crew is sick today, all except my Beloved who I pray will keep healthy to stay the course! Each has a different malady but all are exhibiting signs of exhaustion and having hit the wall emotionally.

Yes this is our 1 week anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only energy I have for celebrating were those extra exclamation marks up there, so sad. It has been harder to live through than I could have prepared for as every moment of the last 7 days have been filled with thoughts of how to help Sweetpea adjust to this new life that she did not choose, and is not too happy about. Then on the other hand, some of the behaviors we were told she has have not exhibited themselves at all and for which we are grateful.

Sleep is finally coming as we having been spending a lot of time in the bright sunshine and brisk air getting lots of exercise and not allowing power naps during the day. This makes the evening harder to manage with the behaviors but I really appreciate the extra sleep!

We have found out that she is a puzzle girl. She can spend a lot of time concentrating on a puzzle and not get overly frustrated with it. So we have drug out some of the older kid puzzles and floor puzzles and she is delighting is doing them repetitively. We haven't gone to 100 pieces yet. The other things she seems to really obsess over is swinging as she can rock the sky for over an hour without a break! What a funny girl!!!

As things are settling in to a pattern please pray for us:

• for stamina to continue to do the right things and to choose to glorify God in every situation
• that we would trust God that He will return our family once more to a state of peace and calm
• that the kids would have all their needs met, and find their provision in the Lord
• that we would find rest and covet sleep over other good things
• that we could set aside things that are not of top priority and be content with doing less for a while (hopefully paying bills along the way)

No Nap No Blog!

Yesterday went well with the doctor's appointment even though we anticipated great resistance, we are so grateful to God! The odd thing is that we said she had a lot of congestion in her chest and when he listened to it he said it wasn't bad. Then in bed last night she coughed so thickly and hard she could not rest and several times coughed to the point of throwing up. When she finally fell asleep she slept until late this morning but has woken up really grumpy.

Last night we opened our birthday girl's present. She was delighted. Here is a short video. Sweepea had a hard time having another receive a blessing without getting something herself. Her sense of entitlement is very high and we are praying for wisdom as to how to address this issue.
After the other kids were in bed my beloved and I had a chance to talk with Sweetpea. She asked us when she was going back to Singapore. She does not know what is happening to her. Even though she calls me mamman for Mama and my husband Baba and shows us some affection yet she really believes she will return to her parents in Singapore. We really need wisdom as to how to proceed.

Here is a rare moment of not being in motion resting with her Baba.

And not to be left out, littlest button jumped in the hot seat as soon as it was vacant. She is always ready for a quick pose.

Again?!?

Again?!? is Sweetpea's favorite word. She is very fond of replying to any request by this refrain. Yes, you must go to bed at night , again. Yes you must wash your hands before dinner, again. Yes you must use a kleenex for your runny nose and not your sleeve, again. Yes you must pick up the toys you dumped out on the floor, again. Yes, you must sit down to eat dinner, again. Of course I don't have this dialogue with her but it just is such a funny thing to say about repetitive events in life.........take another breath, Again?!?

Right now the two littles are napping. It seems the only time I can sneak in some blog time. I have a 5 minute check timer running for her naps so that I can make sure that she is closely supervised at all times. Every 5 I go get a visual to make sure she has not woken and gotten into something she shouldn't.....and she knows exactly where those soft targets are.

Today my beloved went to work and I have had a good trial day of having 4 doing school without help. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is that the oldest 2 are so diligent with their work and do much of it independently. The younger two I have clustered together so we school in tandem, and it worked. Most of their morning activity really consisted of play playdough and making things. Their friendship seems to be growing and that is huge.

After lunch as the littlest button was doing her cleanup I cuddled Sweetpea on the coach. She has been very resistant to this and after battling me over lunch she was none too keen to go to the coach. Yet. with gentle coaxing she crawled into the love nest and we started chatting. I found out that she does in fact know that her birthday is in Oct but she doesn't know the date. Her favorite color is pink and her favorite fruit is apple. She likes apple juice and orange juice and strawberry ice cream with sauce. It was the most productive chat we have had so far and I know this may seem so minute but the fact that she is now trusting me with simple details and not playing games and making rude comments is great growth. Any moment of great growth I will take. She tired at that point and I could tell it was going to take a turn in the wrong direction so I asked if she would like to hear a story. I began with 2 characters and quickly said a prayer that some storyline worth listening to would come to my mushy tired brain. God prevailed and out spun a great tale. My little button, hearing a tale being spun, hurriedly joined on the coach and sat right in a danger zone in front of Sweetpea. I expected a small kick or some other unkindness to follow the perceived intrusion but there was none and we all got wrapped up in the telling of and listen to the story. I was amazed that each was able to be still for the long tale and there was no acting out. It gives me great hope.

I think one of the hardest parts of my days right now is that everything, everything in life has to be so intentional and deliberate. That is a lot of brain power working overtime. Yet, I know that it is where we set the stage for the rest of our time together, charting a course to calm water from the turbulence of what she feels is normal. Problems arise when her "normal" and our "normal" clash and she is very adept at bringing her "normal" to bear wherever she is. We understand that chaos and turbulence feels safe to her and is what she is used to but we seek to show her gradually that the calm waters of self control and structure will bring her the peace her heart cries out for.

Today is a very special day in our family as our second button turns the big 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her biggest wish on this birthday was that it would snow and by 10 am it was doing just that. Isn't God a sweet God who grants us wishes of our hearts when they seem inconsequential?

It is hard for us to grasp that our little bit is growing up so fast. She is a delight to us and full of spunk and tenderness.

We told her last night a surprise was coming at 8 in the morning for her. When everyone woke up this morning we did not let them get breakfast as usual and made them wait until 8 o'clock when the doorbell rang and Mrs. G, our dear friend and super chef, appeared bearing a birthday breakfast for all of us to share. What a delight that was to her! Thank you Mrs. G for your vast kindness and delicious meal.

Exhausted

That was the word for today. I found myself saying it over and over as people asked how I was doing. Yes, the lack of sleep and the high intensity of every waking moment of my little one has me worn thin. I got to take a break this morning as the 3 other girls and I went about our normal routine of HDO co-op classes. It was the last day for this term and I did not think that it was a good day to try to throw Sweetpea into the mix. She and Baba stayed home and watched each other and grew very bored, bored to the point that Sweetpea just started napping in a chair. Power napping so that she would have lots of strength for me when I got home!

The sweetness was when we prepared to leave this morning and she showed that she was anxious about my going. I know that it caused her concern due to all the changes recently but I reassured her I would return after lunch and that I would be loving her when I was gone. As we pulled out from the driveway her little sad face was so endearing and let me know that at least there has been a little progress.

This afternoon we took a ride over to the city and she was enamored by the big buildings and the lights. I have to think that it reminds her a little of Singapore but a whole lot colder. She was a buzz when we hit the streets with its traffic and I could tell that her impulse to fly out of my hand was very high. I was glad that my husband had strongly recommended using the body harness just as a safety. She bridled at it but did not take it off, so it was an overall success. I care very much that we help keep her safe against the impulses and old behaviors until she can grow new behaviors and handle some of her impulses. As I was riding home I looked back in the mirror and saw in a row two little kiddos with winter hatted heads drooped over each to the opposite side asleep. It warmed my heart.

I did a stint at home this evening solo as my beloved went into work for an evening shift. It went well but wrangling all four heads for baths was a much longer process. What was routine before has all of a sudden gotten complex by just adding one more. For some reason the three that know the routine can't seem to factor in one more in the process. Ah, the growing pains of a family. I know soon enough this will be all familiar and down to routine again, but for now it is chaos!

This evening I also got a good dose of Love me/ Leave me. It's a game played when one person tries desperately to make you believe that you are the last person on earth they wish to be with and want to be left in their misery and then in no time flat you turn around and that same person is clinging to you and hugging you and for the first time giving you a juicy kiss on the cheek. I am so glad that as we play this same game with God his love for us never wavers and his understanding of where our hurt and confused hearts are is long suffering. I am amazed at the patience and love God has given me for this precious child, I confess that it is not me that loves this child as much as Christ through me that sees the value of her life and says that she is dear to him.

Our Little Martian Child

Having a 6 year old join our family is a little like having a Martian. You think you understand what will happen before the wonderful event happens and you soon find out that this little one came with fully packed emotional baggage, not an empty slate. O' the joys of discovering all the ticks of Sweetpea as we walk through our day. Her highs and lows, what foods she likes and what foods she won't try even though you know she would like if only she'd give it a whirl. She speaks some English and yet it is so sprinkled with Tagalog and Chinese that we are not sure what we are hearing, just that we do not have understanding. For instance, can anyone help us with "CR" or "bahoe"??? A translator would be helpful. Nothing, though, can help translate for us the waves of emotion that pass over her face as she is trying to figure out this alien planet at a near frantic pace. It was funny today for her to suggest that we have no food in the house because we do not have a pig hanging from the hook on the ceiling. She suggested we go right away to the market to buy the pig, perhaps she is concerned that we are not able to continue to feed her if said visual is not around.

Our youngest button continues to amaze us with her unparalleled love for her new sister. It seems like her long lost twin has finally come to her. She has been so gracious and loving, and in her totally button way oblivious to any of the mean spiritedness of Sweetpea as they play. This has unarmed Sweetpea so that they are actually playing together with open wonderful play. Here is a video of them, I was sneaking it so it is not the best face angle. You will get to hear Sweetpea's singsong voice too.

Getting to Know Her

It has been a wild ride for the past 18 hours. She is a bright, energetic girl full of curiosity. Yet she is much like an infant with a will of steel and the anger of a charging bull. The amount of trauma and abuse in her life is very evident through her behavior and speech. She has the speech patterns of a street urchin, language that we are not used to and are trying not to react to so that it does not empower it. There have been some great moments of sweetness throughout the day but it has not been an easy day. She is napping at the moment and I am on a 3 minute check in timer in order to steal this time to blog. The intensity of today has left me wrung out, so please continue to pray for us all. Here are some highlights from today.

If you could also keep in prayer these specifics:

• that Sweetpea would be more gracious and less hostile to her new sisters who are trying valiantly to reach out in love to her
• that Sweetpea would graduate to this time clock quickly as she is fighting jet lag and also the time change for her body clock which is 13 hours ahead of ours, making our night her day.
• that the cold that had sprung upon me would make a hasty retreat
• that we would find grace and peace in the midst of a very trying time, that we would know God's amazing love for each of us

She's Here!!!!!!!!

A long awaited prayer fulfilled. The waiting at the entrance to the terminal was interminable! Then I saw a woman in the distance carrying a cardboard box and I knew that was our escort with our kiddo.

It was a very shy introduction. Jennifer did her best but it was so hard to insert my personality and start to build a relationship with Sweetpea when Jennifer was so dominant and hands on. It made the leaving so much harder! That is when the sweet and shy went out the window and one very scared sad/mad/angry little girl came to visit.

It took a while for us to leave the airport as she was fully not committed to going with us for any reason. She would rather have struck out on her lonesome than come with us two strange looking unknown people. We did finally get to the car without fighting it and were so pleased that there was no struggle to buckle up in the car seat.

She has not loosened up a slight bit but she wants to be in charge sooooooo much. It is hard for her to let anyone in to her guarded world. She was doing great with me along but when the girls returned with their dad she got ridged and hostile again. She has remained in that position since and we have had to struggle for just about every request.

Exhausted already. Looking at the tip of the iceberg and wondering how many slushies we can make from all this. She is one very wounded kiddo and even her language is more than shocking. I know this is not hers but from her history. As we did anything tonight she kept asking me how much something was going to cost her. Two eggs for dinner, "How much?" Soap for the bath, "How much?" Love from a Good Mama's heart.......priceless, she just has no way of knowing that now.

I know you want pictures but I am steeling sleep and a shower to post. Pictures will come as soon as I am able. Thanks for all the love you have showered us with. It is a blessing beyond compare.

Getting Undignified

Today we spoke with Jennifer once more. Things were going well in Singapore. They spent the morning with Carmelita and that was good to get some more information from her about Sweetpea for us. Carmelita helped translate for Jennifer so that Sweetpea could have a better understanding of what was happening to her. When it was time to say goodbye there were many tears on both sides. Sweetpea continued to grieve the separation and loss for almost an hour. It seemed only retail therapy would come to Jennifer's rescue as they went out to buy a few activities and snacks for the plane ride. They moved from the YMCA to the Crown Plaza at the airport so that their morning sprint to the plane would be the shortest possible. They spent time in the pool in the afternoon and then went to bed early.

At 5 pm our time they boarded the plane. My beloved checked the plane stats at that time and found out that they had closed the doors 4 minutes early. So, we gathered the troops and we cranked up the music and we got our worship on! We got very undignified in our praise to God that she was on her way to us. It seems surreal. They will travel through Japan and Oregon before making their way to us at 4 pm Sunday afternoon. It is a looooong flight, I hope the little one sleeps a lot on planes. Just the two of us are going to the airport to pick her up as we need to get the full report and documents from Jennifer as well as work on the transition. We will get her home and get some food into her before the sisters arrive en masse to lavish their love on her. Those three sisters might just mug her with love. We have told them that she might not be as receptive to all that love right away, she will need some time to get to know them first.

Wahooo, we have blast off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We heard her voice!

This morning we are over the moon with happiness. We spoke with Jennifer after she had been with Sweetpea for about 5 hours. She gave us her professional opinion about the condition and state of this child. That was the most unbiased and refreshing news we could have heard. Then in an unexpected twist I was able to engage her in a conversation that lasted nearly 20 minutes!!!!!!!! Her voice is very sing-songy and lovely. It will be hard to understand her at first because she has been immersed in Tagalog, the language of Carmelita from the Philippines, for the past 9 months at least. Her secondary language is Chinese thus making English her third language. So her voice is a blend of all of those.....and very much a little girl.

Things we learned about her today.....

• she is a lefty, our first, that should be fun
• she is missing 3 teeth and so her smile is very winsome
• that she really enjoys taking baths and showers
• that she is a collector and organizer

There is probably more but it slips from my mind in the whirl that I am in. She doesn't seem to comprehend what is happening to her and thinks that she is returning to the Philippines with Carmelita after this Singapore vacation. Jennifer did not press it too much as she doesn't yet know if this news will throw her into a panic, they still have 24+ hours before getting on the plane.

T minus 2....................

She'll be going round the mountain....once again

Today I had the wonderful gift of having my sweet husband take the day off to help me get things organized at home in order to receive our expected delivery on Sunday....Sweetpea.

We got a lot done, but is it ever done enough? Amidst the busy activity of the day we found out that there is still more minutia swirling around the documents they had us sign. Apparently they want a more iron clad signature, even though both lawyers disagree. It is to the point of the absurd and we are willing to tie ribbons on our toes and paint our hair blue if it will just clear us of their extreme fear. We have peace, and trust in God, as we go through this. We are so grateful that Jennifer is there face to face with them and not us at this hour.

T minus 3................holding our breath and smiling a lot!!!!!!!

Landed!

At 1 pm today Jennifer landed in Singapore. It was 1 am Thursday morning there. Poor woman! After all those hours on the plane she still needed to get her luggage and through customs before trying to get to her hotel. She must be beat. She plans on sleeping a little today and then getting in some sight seeing of Singapore. It is her first time there and perhaps her only chance to see the sights as Singapore does not do international adoptions.

T minus 4....................

NOT Leaving on a Jet plane

This morning at 9 am I said a prayer of thankfulness that I was not leaving on a jet plane today and that it was Jennifer who was making this amazing sacrifice for us. As the day progressed and even as I sit here now I have kept tucked in the back of my mind that she had been hurling through the sky en route to Singapore for all these hours. As I luxuriated in the blessing of an indoor waterpark with my sweet kiddos and many, many of their friends I was aware of Jennifer inching towards the final destination. As I plan to lay in my comfortable bed and enjoy a good nights sleep she is still not there, and I am really overwhelmed by God's mercy to be in such a position to have another bear the burden of that travel for my sake. It is no small gift we are being given. It causes my heart to turn to wonder and praise to my Lord for His amazing ways and thank Him for what He is doing at this very moment in our lives.

T minus 5........

Sweet Rewards

Tada! A new picture arrived today of our sweet girl. I just had to dress it up some and post it here for everyone to see! It was taken at the top of this year but it is more recent than any other picture we have of her.
We went back and forth with the lawyers today over minuscule things contained in the parents documents. The big things that we want anchored in stone remain floating out there still. We have yet to sign the documents which is causing the parents some angst. We will need to sign them soon or otherwise they will do something unwise.

We also spoke to Jennifer, the escort, for the last time before her flight tomorrow. I wish that I were on that plane. I wish that I were the one to meet my daughter and to see the people and places that are familiar to her. I must trust that since I am not on that plane it is for the greater good that God has made this arrangement. My heart reaches out to her over the miles and I know that very soon my arms will only have to stretch around her small, warm body. I pray that she will be able to see and feel a difference in life here in this family than in any family she has been in before. I know that this may take a long time but I am praying for the endurance to wait and watch God change her life. I have seen it before, it gives me hope for this child.

Our one dip in the road today was when we were informed that Jennifer will allow Sweetpea to be babysat on Saturday so that she might tour Malaysia by herself. Firstly, I am glad she is not taking Sweetpea to Malaysia with her. Yet, I am disappointed that she will not be caring for her and preparing themselves for the long plane ride early the next day. As a friend reminded me, God can thwart all plans of man so it is best to just trust Him for the outcome. It is just not what we expected and certainly not the way we would do it, but then again we aren't getting on that plane tomorrow are we? Nope. I choose to trust in God's goodness, always.

T minus 6................

Buzy Bees

This weekend just flew by. We were busy as bees.

Saturday my beloved and the two oldest girls kitted out in Civil War era duds and headed out to a local re-enactment. Well if it had to rain for most of the time at least it was warmer temperatures and no wind. They had such a blast.
Meanwhile my littlest bee and I made our way over to the dentist because I had to get my back molar crowned. It is not the greatest timing for my mouth to fall apart and for costly repairs to crop up but it beats the tooth splitting and to have an emergency after Sweetpea is home. My little bee sat in a chair for an hour and a half watching contentedly while they crawled inside my mouth- what a gem she is!

As soon as we were done she wanted to make haste for the Civil War. We ran home and she donned her garb and away we went to the battlefield! We were soon conscripted for the medical tent to "help" the "injured" "soldiers". We enjoyed ourselves too and had the benefit of being under the only shelter and thus staying dry.

When the battle wound down it was quite the upset with the Confederates winning the war! We were on the Confederate side because my Beloved is from Missouri and it was a split state so he decided to own his grit-loving southern roots and join the southern team. It was only for a day so there were no long term decisions to be made, besides when they started it was very unevenly in favor of the Union, you have to have 2 sides to have a battle.

This is the whole gang, the north and the south after re-unification and snacks. We came home cold, wet, smelly and in need of rest.

Sunday after church we got busy with lots of things in the house. Laundry was high on the list as well. It seems to me that laundry breeds overnight. Not that I am complaining but with 3 beautiful girls the laundry will never get less, it was only grow more complicated.

I had a motto this afternoon "If I can't pack to travel I might as well nest!" I nested very well this weekend. Starting on Friday when I got out the old (and I mean old) sewing machine and prayed over it before trying to get it to work. God is gracious and allowed it to work most of the time, eventually fulfilling it's duty and completing all the projects. I did all the sewing that is needed to prepare for Sweetpea........the big item was getting her sling done. I had to do it twice because I forgot how to do it the right way but it's done and ready to use. I also made a little pillow for her sweet head and I am feeling all those warm, wonderful maternal feelings you might have right before delivering a baby. I have only had them right before we travelled so I am enjoying mine.

Tonight as I packed up all the sewing that had managed to overflow into two rooms I noticed that the house is in dire need of a good pick-up and re-ordering. This week, amidst the craziness of our schedule, I will be attempting to put order back into the chaos and peace where there now grows stray socks and discord.

We are T Minus 7 days................we have never been this close before.

Paperwork, blessed paperwork

Today was a good day for the paper to flow. We got the fax from Singapore with all the items signed. We faxed those right over to our lawyer just so he could rest easy and take a look in case something was amiss. We are still in need of the originals of those documents to be sent, we cannot go to court with a faxed copy but it is a relief to see progress being made.

Our lawyer also said that he got the documents from their lawyer and was reviewing them before sending them on to us. We are thankful that now we can have an idea of what all the fuss is about from their side. We are praying that it will not be something to cause the plans to fall apart at this point. I feel too weak to take another hit in the disappointment department.

We spoke with Jennifer today and our gratitude to her grew. Her understanding of the levels of grief a child goes through during the transition stage of adoption made it easier to ask her for favors like taking lots and lots of pictures of everything and everyone and to safeguard Sweetpea's heart from obvious trauma. She did not know where she is staying in Singapore as the parents are making those arrangements and seemingly not wanting us to know. The amount of control that is being exerted on the mom's part makes me sad for her and stirs my compassion to pray for her. We hope when Jennifer finds out she will let us know and then we can establish communication when she is in Singapore and with Sweetpea.

It is officially T Minus 9

This was timely and encouraging to our unsteady hearts this morning. I wanted to share it as I know many are in the same season of waiting.

Waiting

from Our Daily Bread

Make haste to help me, O Lord!” the psalmist David prayed (Ps. 70:1). Like him, we don’t like to wait. We dislike the long lines at super-market checkout counters, and the traffic jams downtown and around shopping malls. We hate to wait at the bank or at a restaurant.
And then there are the harder waits: a childless couple waiting for a child; a single person waiting for marriage; an addict waiting for deliverance; a spouse waiting for a kind and gentle word; a worried patient waiting for a diagnosis from a doctor.
What we wait for, however, is far less important than what God is doing while we wait. In such times He works in us to develop those hard-to-achieve spiritual virtues of meekness, kindness, and patience with others. But more important, we learn to lean on God alone and to “rejoice and be glad” in Him (v.4).
F. B. Meyer said, “What a chapter might be written of God’s delays! It is the mystery of the art of educating human spirits to the finest temper of which they are capable. What searchings of heart, what analyzings of motives, what testings of the Word of God, what upliftings of soul. . . . All these are associated with those weary days of waiting, which are, nevertheless, big with spiritual destiny.” — David H. Roper
Be still, My child, and know that I am God!Wait thou patiently—I know the path you trod.So falter not, nor fear, nor think to run and hide,For I, thy hope and strength, am waiting by thy side. —Hein

God stretches our patience to enlarge our soul.

T Minus 10

It is countdown time. There only remains 10 days between now and when Sweetpea arrives in our lives and in our home.

Can you feel the excitement bubbling over? I am busy still with preparations. I am busy trying to stuff the next 3 months of appointments and events and shopping into these last few days.

Today we mailed off a box to Jennifer with stuff to take to Singapore for Sweetpea. There is such a longing to be the person to give it to her but I am grateful that we will at least now be able to get something to her. I made a photo book by way of introduction and wrote a story of our family to go along with each page. I hope that the things I wrote will help her begin to wrap her brain around this enormous change that she is being asked to make, yet again. This time we hope it is forever and for her ultimate benefit. I also put in the box many small activities and toys to play with on the long, long, long plane ride to us. I bought a coming home outfit a while back when we still we planning on travelling ourselves and I sent that along in the box, I don't know if Jennifer will use it for the plane trip or not but at least she will have it available.

I am ready to be finished with mothering long-distance. My heart is weary from the guessing and doubting and trying to figure things out. Yes, I know that when she comes home there will be a long and enduring weariness to contend with as well but at least she will be known and under our roof.

We are still waiting on the fax from the parents. Today they emailed to say they lost the fax number. We then have to wait another full day for them to get back to work in order to fax it. Still no word from their lawyer......we are trying to patient. Truthfully other preparations have pushed that drama into the wings at the moment.