Chosen!

After days of babysitting the email waiting to see the parent's email pop up it finally came when I was not looking!

We had given them our final final answer but with qualifiers that may cause them to not chose us. We wanted to be truthful upfront and not have them make a decision in our favor and then reveal that we had these conditions that we knew they would not see as favorable. One of which is that we want them to agree to remain in contact with us throughout her young life and until she becomes a young adult and can make decisions for herself about contact. We want there to be an avenue for her to dialogue with them about the loss and trauma of her first years and her time with them when that time comes for her to do that emotional work. That might not happen until she is an older teen and we might naturally not know where in the world they are or how to contact them by that time. So, we wanted them to make this commitment to her now. We know that they are not open to this, so it would be a condition that could tip the scales out of our favor. Yet, we have to do what is right for Sweetpea regardless.

To our surprise this was not to hold them back and they emailed today to say that they felt we were a stronger candidate to successfully attempt to adopt Sweetpea. They said that since we have already had experience and success with attachment bonding issues they felt we might be able to handle Sweetpea's behavioral and attachment issues the best. We know that it is through God's gracious mercy to us that we know anything and have done anything to help our daughters. We take no credit for how God has miraculously healed the hearts of our sweet girls. We just pray that we will be similar instruments in God's hands for Sweetpea as well.

We also know that they made the decision out of what was most expeditious for them as a couple and not what was perhaps best for the child. They have ceased making decisions for her best welfare long before. We just trust the Lord that the decision is made by God for the His glory, and we have nothing else to be concerned about.

So, honestly now, I feel a little twirly and a lot like throwing up! A friend of mine has already said that that is a fine way to feel...it makes me truly pregnant!