Up to my Eyeballs in Beauty.....

Beauty and the Be*ast that is! My oldest button is at a drama intensive camp for the last week. When she auditioned for the program and got cast to play the part of "Chip" the little teacup I really thought this would be a great thing for her. I had no idea that when they said it was an "INTENSIVE" they really meant that included the whole family.

The rest of the buttons have been very supportive and helpful as we have been spending all of our waking hours working on the play. It is quite an undertaking they have cut out for themselves. In 10 days they take a group of green teens with the desire to act, some with experience and some not, and not only teach them how to sing and act but also produce the entire musical and then perform it live TWICE on the tenth day.

A little on the crazy side, but that's theater for you. Living large and crazy and praying that it comes out well.

To balance out all this craziness the rest of the buttons are hard at work training for their first 5K. They have decided that the July 4th 5K is the race to do and so we have ourselves quite a lot to accomplish in a short time. It is going to be a very interesting (read: riotous) week.

Pray for me.

Fanatical Racers

I am not complaining. There is nothing in this world that would make me complain about these crazy, lovely girls I am raising .... but I am perplexed beyond words as to why they have become such nuts over running.

It seems as the days go by they get MORE obsessed with running. They wake up and I find them staring me into consciousness, willing my eyes to open the slightest so they can ask the question burning on their brilliant minds for the nanoseconds they have been awake....."can we go running today?"

Monday they made a new personal best of 2 miles. Tuesday morning while waiting for time to get dressed for our court date they went out and put 1.6 miles under their belts, just to cut the tension. They took the dog with them and the dog barely made the circuit, and we think he slept for the rest of the day. After a gruelingly long day today they begged their Baba to take them running after dinner. They made a new personal best of 2.5 miles!

I went out to pick them up and they were so proud of themselves. My sweet hubby was limping slightly as his new shoes are breaking in his feet a little (he's had his new running shoes for over 2 years already and still live in the box, so rarely have they been used before). After being so eager to tell me about their run they pled with me to let them out of the car so they could run all the way home. Baba made the ruling on that one, no.

I marvel at how God has created their unique hearts and what so easily captures their imaginations. This running thing is Second Button's natural forte, she's an easy athlete but unfocused on what she wants to really do, except that is for running. She has pulled all the others into her love for stretching her limbs and feeling the wind under her feet.

Summers around here are usually filled with water and lots of swimming from May through September. We have yet to be immersed, it's such a shame. With all this strange weather pool time hasn't been an option. I would never have thought this summer would have been a summer of running instead of swimming.........it's rocking my world, help what planet am I on?!!!!

Glorious

Done
Done
DONE
Our court appointment went very well. God blessed us greatly. Firstly and not to be overlooked the buttons were dressed sweetly with nary a stress, and four hairdos with no angst. Fifteen minutes to departure and I still was undressed and unstyled but THEY looked great!

We got to the building with a full half hour to spare and got on street parking right in front of the building.......unheard of, sincerely. There was even time still left on the meter.

As we passed through the metal detectors the guards were more interested in making comments and admiring the girls then checking the bags and noticing that people in our party were setting off the machines. We have been here before and this was not the regular atmosphere. I felt we were breathing rarefied air today.

All through the building our little band did attract quite a bit of attention. The kids didn't seem as bothered by it as usual as their minds were preoccupied with the coming events. Our lawyer met us in the upstairs lobby and went over the details of the day and buzzed between us and the other families he was representing. We were one of 5 adoptions slated on the judges docket.

We went third. The courtroom was spacious and empty as it was closed to the public. Marvelous M took off his lunch hour and showed up right in time to be our photog guy. We sat across a wide table from the judge, the same one the B's and the K's had had, which was helpful in showing the girls his picture beforehand. The proceedings started and I felt like I was at an auction. Both the judge and the lawyer spoke sooooooo quickly that I had to listen with all my strength to follow along. There were several errors and I jumped in to stop them so that the errors could be corrected. Towards the end I realized that maybe I should have raised my hand or given some nod to the legal hierarchy when I wanted to interrupt but I really was barely holding my own in trying to get it corrected before they had gone to the next page.

The kids did really well. The littlest ones stood between us as we were seated. Second button stood beside her Baba and read a book and wondered as we stood up when it would begin, she had missed the whole thing because she was waiting for some "action" and not just the words. Top Button sat behind us and watched but did not really understand much.

The only time that was troubling was towards the end of the proceeding and the judge asked the lawyer if he knew whether the first parents would show up today. For the record the judge stated the date and time and took a moment to stare at the closed door to the courtroom. Sweetpea turned to look at the door with a jolt and a face of horror as if she fully expected them to walk through at that moment. I pulled her close and knew what she could not tell me right then. The judge continued on and with each passing minute her tense body began to relax.

It ended just as anti-climatically as it had begun and poor Sweetpea also wanted action. She wanted more than just words from this judge. She wanted him to "do" something, to signify what had happened esoterically on paper to satisfy the demands of the legal system. She wanted him to "cut the line" between her and the first family. He, of course, did not understand what she was talking about or why she would want such a thing.

We all stood up and posed for pictures. Which I will post later. Right now sleep is overtaking me. The judge asked that we send him a copy of the picture as he has a large scrapbook he keeps of all the families he has worked with, that speaks highly of him.

We exited the courtroom as they called the next family and we gathered in the hallway and the 6 of us did the happy dance. It was silly and it was great -- and the lawyer acted like he had no clue. Oh well, one must celebrate the big things in life and break out in dance. Six danced.

Then we walked hand in hand out of the building into the glorious sunshine and drank in the goodness of God!

We go back for the final hearing in January.

Until then we continue with visits from the social worker and reports to the court.

Tomorrow We Go to Court

Tuesday, which is tomorrow, we finally get our day in court. That will be our first of 2 court dates to complete the adoption process for Sweetpea. We lost the last court date in May and then it seemed so far away to wait for June 23rd, but now it is upon us.

The lawyer called today and informed us that he will not be there tomorrow due to a death in the family. He is sending his stand-in and the show will go on, thankfully. He then spent the next 20 minutes on the phone speed talking me through the "talking points" of the process tomorrow. Mostly dates and details that we will have to verbally testify to -- as if they do not have it printed ad nauseam in the ream of paperwork we have already submitted -- but perhaps for succinct-ness (word?)we will have to reiterate it once again. I am going to work on a cheat sheet tonight putting these important facts down on paper for us to quickly reference in case nerves or mommy brain kicks in? Otherwise it might sound something like this....

What's your name? ugh, ummmm, yea, hon could you answer that one for me?
What is the child's name? Top Button, no, Second Button, sorry no, Bottom Button, ugh, Cody (the dog) ergh! I'm sorry it's coming to me now......Sweetpea!
Where do you live? In a house! (Smiling sweetly as I revel in easily mastering one of the questions!)
What are the series of events that led to the placement of this child in your home in 2 minutes or less? You-have-got-to-be-kidding-me!

Get the picture of why I feel I need a cheat sheet?

Please pray for the kids as they are going with us and the bottom two are really scared. They are scared for all kinds of reasons but none that we can dissuade easily or reassure them away from. Sweetpea is covertly afraid that her first parents will show up, even though they are still oversees and have been abundantly clear that they had no desire to ever appear in court. She is also afraid that the judge will "make the decide" to send her back to them. I think that is a very understandable fear and a decision that would be very, very rare for him to make but it's in the margin of possibility and she is living in that margin with her fear.

Second Button has been telling her story of going to the judge and how he let her sit on his lap and bang his gavel and gave her a lollipop when she left. I have told Sweetpea she is NOT seeing the same judge and to not expect the same treatment. The retelling of the story was to assure her that judges are nice people, not a contract of what will happen tomorrow. Either way the wind blows tomorrow, fear or over-confidence, I am packing a lollipop on my person just to be on the safe side.

After the cheat sheet my biggest angst is what will we all wear, it is court after all, and a significant moment in our family's history. I have not yet applied my grey matter to what will cover all the bitty bodies. As if you couldn't guess this one, Sweetpea wants it all to be matchy-matchy. She has such a huge need to belong and find her significance in belonging. So I had best get this posted and let those brain cells spin in the direction of creative clothes coverings!

Please pray for all our hearts and for a favorable ruling in regarding to our petition to the court!

Father's Day in Photos

We loved on my main man today and celebrated his wonderful heart of fatherhood as he fearlessly leads this band of merry maids. They sang for him, danced for him, fed him a steady diet of pizza and root beer and got all dressed up for a special portrait to bless his heart.

Big Plans - Sweetpea Style

I wanted to share with you some photos from our day of preparation for Sweetpea's dedication at church. This was such a sweet day for my daughter and I and I got to see dimensions emerge from her that I had not seen before.

The oldest buttons returned last night from a party with these curlers in their hair. Thus, it follows that this morning the littlest buttons would want curlers in their hair as well. When the older girls took theirs out and sported their curls curl envy was born and they blessed their little sisters heart's by doing their hair up too.

My Sweetpea and I spent some cuddle time together talking about what it meant to be dedicated as this was a totally foreign concept to her. She liked the part where she got to pick the dresses and that we are to have a big dinner to celebrate after church. The dresses were the easy part for her, she knew immediately what she wanted.....to match her sisters! Then we got down to business to plan the dinner together. She really got into this hostessing thing.

She had very specific ideas of what she wanted on the menu for the dinner. I was impressed that things came out pretty balanced. Having never given her the power of the pen before to craft the menu I was pleased to see more than just sweets listed, ham was pretty prominent. I love her little lefty pinky that sticks out when she writes, it's so adorable.

There were of coarse some negotiations during the planning. She wanted to invite the world and I had to tell her that we had only one ham and a large family already so she was going to have one guest. She has become a social girl with a lot of friends. She has gone from thinking that the world is a threatening place and people are enemies to being able to seek out her special people and create ongoing relationships with them. They are not yet deep and true relationships yet but they are on the continuum now at least.

I love this angel face. I love that I get to paint her finger nails and toe nails and that it makes her feel all girlie girlie. She used to peel those nails off ridiculously harsh and the ends of the fingers were raw most of the time. I know that it was a reflection of the inner turmoil but now she has allowed them to grow. They have been quietly celebrated by her sisters who either want them and don't have them because they too are gnawers or have them and get to adorn them with light polish and wish others to match. Today she got them polished and it was a golden moment.

I can't believe today is our six month-aversary of having Sweetpea in our family. It has been an astounding six months. While it has not been easy she amazes me at how rapidly she has changed. She is a sponge for love and has flourished in this wild, crazy atmosphere we call life in our household. Her very face is changing and I don't just mean all those missing teeth are finally growing in either!

I love how she is growing in all facets of life. Because she isn't spending all her time surviving she has a lot more time for deeper thinking and has gotten to be reflective and a great one to hold conversations with about the big things in life. She will normally spring these large ponderings upon me during moments of cuddling when she is feeling safe and we are being quiet. I want to be able to make time to always hear what is on her heart, even if it takes her a while to get it out.

This is the face of love. I love this photo of her because she is so unguarded and so content just to be with me and do this silly planning thing. There is trust in these eyes. Trust that even though she has not a clue of what will happen tomorrow at church during this "dedication" she will be safe and fine because I am her mother and I will make it so. I look at this face and I feel so blessed by God.

Our Little Visitor

We still have our little visitor staying with us. This makes life a tad more stressful for me than normal. She is a great kid; vivacious, energetic, funny and smart. Yet she is a post institutionalized child with behavioral problems and so she also needs some aid in navigating the waters of life. This is something I am familiar with but not something I have done with children not my own. It takes on a whole new perspective when you are asked to draw patience from deep down into your toes and I am thinking that this is harder when there is no hope of future return.

But I am wrong once again as I see the fruit of God's love upon this child and the progress she is making in our household. When she first came she was bossy and arrogant, always first, always best, always biggest, always more and always RIGHT! Without lecture and reprimand for these negative behaviors she has noticed that the other kids aren't in competition with her, in fact they don't even play the same games (save Sweetpea who gets swept up into it easily and reacts accordingly). I think she believes she has stepped into an alternate reality that she doesn't understand because we have begun to see changes in her. Of her own accord, I cannot stress this enough, she is giving preference to others, SHARING, giving compliments and support and just once admitted that perhaps she did not know best! Wow, big stuff in a short time.

She is an aching heart longing for love and yet rejecting the very love that her family is trying to give her. It is a familiar orphan scenario, yet so heartbreaking. It will take her family lots of good support and counselling as well as consistency to demonstrate true love to her and get around her walls of defenses. I pray for this situation daily and would covet your prayers as well, that God would heal this child's heart and restore to her life.

Fun Mother's Day - with Art!

We had a very sweet and sedate Mother's Day this year. The girls dressed up for church for me without much of a fuss and that in itself blessed my heart. We went over to a friends house to share lunch after church and had such a sweet time together. I got to chat while the youngest buttons were creating works of art with play*dough and the older ones were having a blast playing board games. I was very impressed with Sweetpea's rendition of an elephant, this is the first time she has created something so realistic. I, of course, had to capture the moment on film.

Racy Racers

My girls like to run, they call it running club. Whenever we are out and about and they see anyone jogging or running they say longingly, "There's someone doing running club". It's not that they are very good at running or very fast, they are just persistent and slightly obsessed at times.

When Sweetpea first came into our family she thought running club was as close to torture as she had ever experienced. Due to her low muscle tone and difficulty with balance and coordination she really struggled with running a couple yards much less the distance that the others like to put in.

Slowly, as she has done a lot of therapy she has gained muscle mass and core body tone as well as benefited from increased balance and coordination (at least where her feet are concerned). She is not tripping and failing nearly as much and she has stamina now.

Yet, even with all these great gains she was not keen when spring came and we popped outside to start running in earnest. She threw some really stinky fits, and stood there and watched in amazement that the others were having a really great time and she seemed to be missing all the fun. Poor girl did not know what parallel universe she had landed on.

Well, she has persisted and slowly she has been able to make some progress with her running. I still think she thinks it insane but she does it with a willing and eager heart.

Today, for the first time in BUTTON history all girls ran 1.1 miles. This is BIG news. The most they had run heretofore was just over half a mile. They really wanted to break that mile barrier and so they did, all of them, even my newest button. I was so proud of her, I could not wipe the enjoyment of that amazing feat off my face and she knew it!

They are now considering what their running team name should be.....Great Wall Running Princesses is in the lead at the moment. In the pictures you will also see our little friend who is staying with us running as well along with the Great Baba, Father Spectacular!

This isn't stop sign ballet, they are really all stretching but it struck me as funny how they were all clumped together around the sign.

An amazing end to the story

I cannot wait to share how gracious God is. The money has all been supplied. There, that is the punchline and it indeed is amazing to us, because it was not by our strength or by our doing but by God's gracious and sovereign hand. We have a lot to boast on, and none of it is about us.

I sadly admit that I took the news and situation and went into a struggle over it. My heart was so bleak that I did not see any way and I was confounded. I literally cried out, "I cannot make this money appear out of thin air!" Yes, I know it looks very foolish and yet that is where I was.

My sweet husband shared our burden for the smaller sum with one of the pastor's at our church. This pastor has been such a sweet help to us through all the ups and many downs of this adoption journey and has offered great counsel and wise advise to us. The next day this pastor left a message with my Beloved, telling him not to worry, that the amount would be taken care of.

What a huge relief! What a kindness to us to hear this good news.

But........we had gotten it wrong! The message was not that the smaller sum was to be covered but that the entire sum was no longer a barrier and that the demands of the ss agency would be met in order to get the paperwork to the court.

The impact of that news hit me like a physical blow. It felt like the difference between being forgiven a debt of a few dollars and a debt of a lifetime. I know that sounds like an exaggeration but that is how visceral it felt to me.

How silly I must look to Christ when I fell immediately into disbelief and had no faith at the first sign of the problems when all along he had a plan to take care of it. He is so patient with me and so loving.

--------------okay there is a really neat post script to this amazing story too. After my last distressing post to the blog I got an astounding email from a person who reads the blog but who doesn't know us from a hill of beans and says that if we are in need of that money they would be in a position to help us with it! I read it and I was deeply shocked. It was as if God was saying "yes, but I CAN make money appear out of thin air". Superstop. What an amazing God we have and what a unique person to follow God's heart like that to help total strangers?!?!

Bang Nation

Spring silliness is running rampant around these parts and all my girlies got it badly today...........and the result was that they all wanted to "match" Sweetpea in a unique way.......by styling their hair to match her bangs. None of them have bangs and they are forever hearing her say that she can't wait for long hair like her other sisters......today they rewarded her with all wanting what she has and they don't - bangs! What lovely silliness we had. Sweetpea felt so loved and special by this act of "matching" by all her sisters."Matching" is a big thing around this household. I have not really aided and abetted except when the top buttons were very little and we had a couple of dresses that matched. Yet, they seek out things that go together and try to wear them all at the same time. It gets a little ridiculous when I hear them calling from one bedroom to the other to find out what color socks someone is wear on a particular day so that the person dressing might see if they had the same colored socks clean at the same time. We do now have a few things that match, like 4 of the same t shirts and similar hairbands. Even my mom who was adamant about NOT matching the girls even went against all her rules and bought them not one but 3 matching items, one of them being a 3 piece outfit x 4! Go figure, Grandmothers cannot be relied upon to hold to their guns especially if they have found a good sale!

F.R.U.S.T.R.A.T.E.D.

Oh this is going to be a venting post, so be warned and wary.

This week we received some very frustrating news regarding the process of the adoption. Let me preface this to say that this is the first domestic adoption we have done and while being very well versed in China adoption processes and set backs we are operating with the understanding that this final adoption will be a)more open and b)more easy to understand and access information. We are finding our assumption to be false......leading to some head scratching but not mass frustration up until this week.

The players are: the state court for which we have a date on the 19th, the lawyer who we are paying lots of money to represent our case and do all the work for us so that this is done well and expediently, the social services agency who do the homestudy and post placement visits and all the reports to the court, us the prospective parents and the child who has lived with us for 5 months now.

The lawyer contacted the ss agency and told them they needed this big, all inclusive report done on our case and that it had to be into the court 10 days before our courtdate. He did not communicate this with us in anyway. The ss agency calls us in a panic and tells us they need to do this in a hurry and that it will of course cost a lot of money, like $750! We asked why it wasn't done before and why after all these many months was this the first that we or the ss agency has heard of this very needful thing?

Well, I must thank God for our social worker because she is amazing and wonderful and has been the entire 4+ years we have known her. Yet again she comes to the rescue at the last moment and pulls this report together, not withstanding a very busy personal life, and without having to interview us again because she knows us just that well gets it all done. We fact check the document and get it back to her with some minor corrections and we think we are good to go......except for the fee or course.

Well now the frustration factor reaches a crescendo. The ss agency contacts us and says that basically the paperwork is complete but that they will not release any of their work to the court until we pay the fee. The next day it is not just this fee but a much larger fee of $1800 for services that they had already performed and services to be performed throughout the course of this adoption. The final tilt was that they wanted all monies up front or they would hold our adoption paperwork hostage thus submarining our court date and putting us into possible jeopardy.

I calmly reasoned with the woman that trying to find $1800 in the next 24 hours was going to be impossible and that it was a little untimely to demand full payment at this juncture when it was never mentioned before.

I wanted to throw a fit but I did not. I need to keep this woman on our side until the finalization.

Then she went for my weak spots and said that all the ss agency was really concerned with was for the best of the children they serve. That if our inability to pay caused us to lose custody of Sweetpea and necessitate a return to her first family then that would be okay. The child would be the same in either family ------------------WHAT!!!!!!!?????? This is from a woman who has read every detail of this case from the moment we first began the adoption process. She knows the intense trauma and hardship that was visited upon our lovely Sweetpea at the hands of her first family and she disregarded it in light of the larger need to get paid on her timeline.

I was undone. I was shaking badly and had to compose myself to get through the rest of the call in order to not say what was on my mind.

I feel so defeated and frustrated today. The echo's of fourth button's adoption sound loudly in my ears when at the final week before flying to China the adoption agency imposed another fee and without payment threatened to implode our union with our soon to be daughter. It seemed heartless then and it seems heartless now.

I just don't get it................and I cannot make that money appear from anywhere.

Wondering why no blogs???

Have you been checking in and seeing no blogs? Well there is a simple and not great reason why there has been a dearth of words from this side of space.

I am too mentally besieged with things to process that blogging has fallen to an all time low priority. So very sorry for those who have been such great readers.

So, just because you have been so faithful in waiting I will give you an update.

The unemployment thing continues to drag on ad naseum ....... causing my previously mentioned mentally besieged state. If I am not in prayer begging God for daily mercy to cover our need then I am trying in vain attempts under my own power to make something out of nothing. Please pray that the health program that we applied for to cover the kids would get going very soon. Right now we have done everything in our power to stockpile and safeguard but with all the special medical needs of our dear ones we NEED medical coverage.

We have a court date for Sweetpea's first adoption hearing, May 19th. Wow and wow. It cannot come soon enough and now that it is upon us I am nervous for it. This is the hearing that will terminate her first adoptive parents' parental rights, and then they will have no more say over her life. If all goes as expected we will then have to wait another 6 months and more social worker visits and reports before the final court date to make her forever and always a part of our family.

Speaking in that vein we are experiencing a wonderful phenomenon where we can see all her growth in these past 5 months and rejoice in it. How? you may ask. We have brought a fifth child into our home for a short stay. She is an 11 year old girl who was adopted from China 4 months ago but her single mother is struggling with this adoption. We know this family a little bit and were able to offer to take the child for respite care while the mother gets some rest and regathers her strength.

This lovely, vivacious child can wear a body thin in no time flat. She has a lot of the same behaviors that Sweetpea had when she first came home. Sweetpea just looks at me like I've lost my marbles that I am allowing such behavior in this other child that I would not have allowed her. The big difference is that I am not this other child's other and so I simply am providing basic care for her, but for Sweetpea I am her MOTHER and that is an entirely different kettle of fish - for this child I would climb to the moon.

My sweet husband and I were sitting together last night and marvelling at the changes that have overcome Sweetpea and I think I will detail some here for you as well:

• she no longer thinks about life in terms of how much everything costs
• she eats much less and is much happier about what she gets to eat and doesn't fuss as much about what she doesn't get to eat
• she no longer talks about going back to the Philippines or to Singapore
• she has learned to run, awkwardly but steadily
• she can show genuine concern over the error of her ways
• she can show true compassion
• she is learning to read expressions and emotive language, and rightly interpret them
• she is able to be content with not having to compulsively talk and or move
• she listens more
• she tells me when she is sad
• she prays and asks Jesus to help her become like Him

What a great progress report for only 5 months of being in our family. God has been so good to us.

And they sang......

One of the highlights from March was a benefit concert that the kids participated in to help orphans, mainly in China. They worked diligently to learn the song for the "Adopted Children's Choir" which performed during the benefit. The whole night was a great success, realizing much awareness brought to the plight of the older orphans still living in China and their need to be loved and cared for, and ultimately to have the chance to be adopted into a family. It also raised a lot of contributions towards a summer camp that reaches out to these same orphans and gives them a respite from institutional living for several weeks every summer, all run by volunteers mostly from the US. Yet, I think the highlight of the night was the children's performance when they marched on stage in their colorful costumes and proudly represented their birth heritages. It was simply delightful.

March 16th - Fourth Month Milestone

When the older kids were small I loved counting their ages in months. Now that I have bigger kids new to the family I love to count their coming into our family by months too. It helps me keep perspective otherwise I am apt to fall into greater expectation on the newest treasure than can be borne. It also gives me a moment to pause and reflect on what God has done over the time we have been together. I have found myself not being able to recall memories correctly because I cannot locate Sweetpea inside of them. Of course she was not in the memory as she was geographically elsewhere when that memory was made but it just shows me that my heart has begun that shift of "knowing and being known" that happens when you bring a child into your heart through adoption.

Blame it on the time change!

As I sit here my mind is buzzing with the events of the past 3 hours. It is a daily homestretch of trying to get everyone into bed that has worn me out!

Why must everyday end with dinner? A dear friend of mine said that if she were to want anything in the world it would be a personal chef to make meals for her family. Me too. While I enjoy cooking I also find it at times a strain to get the meal on the table with a peaceful heart. I am blessed with a family that loves most everything that I create and are great eaters. I have a few food allergies to navigate but really my life is easy and sweet when it comes to feeding the hungry youngun's and my main man. On top of that they APPRECIATE me so much when I pull a meal together out of thin air. I get the best rewards from my sweet girls and they are by my side now most days in the kitchen "helping" the dinner preparations and with getting the table set. How lucky am I?

After dinner it is a sprint to get the table cleared and clean, the kitchen cleaned to a degree and then everyone shuffled upstairs for bathing, brushing, potty, pj's and bed. Tonight we were turning off lights right after the 9 o'clock mark, an hour later than our 8 o'clock bedtime!

As I tucked the last button into bed and kissed the sweet wet head goodnight I sighed in gratitude. Then I went into the bathroom and saw that my day was not yet done as a tornado had touched down and wreaked havoc when my back was turned. Even then I was not disgruntled but grateful that the mess was made as they had attempted obedience for all the other little things that entail getting to bed successfully.

We have had a good day, I pray they will have a good night with sweet dreams, and some small hope that all will stay in their beds through the night.

Wipeout Wednesday

Another HDO under our belt but I must say that we are sorely out of shape for these marathon endeavors! Today we did not get home until after 6 pm. Dinner was lucky to have not been a repeat of lunch's pb&j had it not been for Baba's cancelled scan and infusion of energy into our midst. He pulled together a feast of mac & cheese with hotdogs that was downed by a pack of voracious wolves that were roaming our dining room. They fell into bed with relief and anticipation.

I too hear my bed calling but wanted to blog a note first. I feel after such an intense day I need a little unwind time. I recall that my mom used to get off the 3-11 shift at the ER and sit up watching Johnny Car*son. I couldn't understand it when she was so tired why she just didn't go to bed, now I understand it better.

Today I taught the early body science class again. The mom who was going to teach this section has the flu so when she called me yesterday afternoon I threw together a curriculum for today's class. I was hoping it would be not be noticeable that it was last minute and I was so pleased that it turned out better than expected. I cannot express how great these kids are (two are mine, of course). They are so eager to absorb all this information and experience these great science experiments for the youngest set of scientists in our group. May they always be this way. It makes teaching them such a joy.

At HDO the 2 oldest buttons are in a knitting consortium and that has caused the 2 littlest buttons to want to learn how to knit. So today in a quiet moment I took a project I had just begun but had no further plans for and began to teach Sweetpea to knit. She is enthralled with her new-found skill, and especially to join the ranks of the "big girls". Her 2 rows were as you would expected but if she continues I think it would be good for her dexterity and fine motor coordination. I'll keep you posted if we knit anything grand, like a pot holder. In the picture you'll see that she is biting her lower lip, she always does this when she is concentrating. She is also sporting a hairband to keep her long bangs out of her eyes, she gets annoyed with them easily.

On the job front my Beloved has found a posting for a job in Chicago. Same career path as he is on now so that would be good for him. We don't know any real details yet but he is going to apply for it and see what comes of it. We are running at 6 weeks out from his layoff date. He is getting a few hours here and there but even unemployment hasn't kicked in. Thankfully we are still covered with medical, which is just the incredible kindness of the Lord towards us. Please continue to pray if you feel so led.

Sweetpea goes to her first HDO

Today our homeschool coop started again for the spring term (affectionately called Homeschool Day Out or HDO) and Sweetpea attended for the first time. It is a great blessing to have this wonderful coop. Yet, even the seasoned hard core ones of the family know that it is a day of the week that beats all others.

Poor Sweetpea did not know what awaited her when she woke up this morning! She thought it might be some fun outing from all the excitement that was brewing throughout the household. Backpacks were being readied, violins and music checked, lunches packed, water bottles filled and mom was slowly and surely loading it all in the van........must be something good.

We got to the facility early, and we are so very blessed to have a wonderful facility that is loaned to our group. We helped with some of the smallest details of set-up while I gave Sweetpea a tour of where we go and what the lay of the land looked like. Then we had a 15 minute window of playtime before getting to class.

She is not taking any classes this time because she is not ready for it. She is just coping with the strain and stress of our lives as it is, she does not need to have to interact or attend for another teacher at this moment. I don't need to try to get compliance from her just yet either, we can just sit this one out and learn the ropes slowly and steadily.

She enjoyed sitting with me in all the classes and did an amazing job being quiet for the most part. We have very gracious teachers who do not have a big thing about absolute quiet so we were able to learn to communicate with our hands and to whisper softly by having lots of opportunities to practice.

She enjoyed being around a lot of different kids. Some of these kids she has a vague relationship with and a basic operating knowledge of how to interact with them. All the other kids were just flashing danger signs to her and by the afternoon she was showing signs of distress at having to handle it. Still, I was amazed that she was doing so very well with the whole scene.

By the time we packed the car and headed for home we were all spent. She had used every ounce of her ability to contain all her emotions and distress. She hit the wall, in a figurative sense. For several hours afterward she just rollercoasted up and down through the gamut of negative emotions searching for a place that would make sense. I could not get through to her on any level, she was just locked in this state and none of my attempts at helping her made any effect. I could tell by the pain behind her eyes that she really wanted me to help her calm down but then she would physically bar me from being able to do anything that might help.

Thankfully I felt very filled with love and empathy for her and so it was a rough end to a long day but not one that threw me overboard. I look and see that as an evidence of God's grace to me.

My biggest regret about today is that I left my camera at home! How could I forget such a vital piece of equipment? I failed to document the day for the annuls of history. Bad mother. Bad.

The Learning Curve

This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland and before we got down to business of schoolwork we jumped into our snow suits and headed out for some shovelling fun.

Sweet Sweetpea is still so new to snow. She is on the up side of the learning curve. For instance the first item she put on were her big mittens and then attempted to get the rest of her suited up, much to her frustration.

The other thing that had us in gales of laughter was her take on a snow bank. We overheard her instructing our littlest Button that a snow bank was a place where you went to get money out of with your hand. When we said we were going to put all the kids into the snow bank three of them screamed and ran away while Sweetpea just stood there and cheered!

We all laughed and she joined in with us not knowing that she was the delight we were all celebrating.

One Hundred Days of Blessing

We are rejoicing and celebrating our 100 days together! It is a great thing to remember how far we have come and to look back closely at the days when Sweetpea was so new to us and to see such progress. It is a great thing indeed.

There is a Chinese tradition that we follow in our family called the 100 Day Celebration. When a child is born in China, traditionally, the first 100 days the child is held in seclusion in order to protect it's health and give it the best chance at a fighting start. Also for those days it is not given it's formal name, it might be called a nickname or crib name but the name it will carry with them into adulthood will not be pronounced upon it until it reaches the maturity of these 100 days. When the child has reached the 100th day the family prepares a celebration and invites family and friends to come and meet the child giving the visitors red eggs and candy. A feast is usually prepared and during this feast the patriarch usually welcomes the child into the family and pronounces declares the name of the child.

In our family tradition we give this a twist and celebrate the 100th day from when the child comes into our family. It is a time to recall the goodness of God's faithfulness and to see how the days have gone. It is a rich tradition for us. Each of our daughters have celebrated their 100 Days and have great memories and pictures from it. Now Sweetpea will also have this wonderful treasure to tuck into her memory bank and know that she is forever part and parcel of this family, you can see our family taking shape right before your eyes. It is a time to lay aside the moment of striving and thank God for what He has already done.

We are truly grateful, humbled and filled with awe at how God has moved in our lives, all of our lives. We are, none of us, the same for having loved Sweetpea. She is being transformed before our eyes and we can take no credit.