Temporarily Misplaced

My sweet child is so lost still. I am equally lost as how to help her. Today we had a very rough morning but was followed by some required snuggling time and reading. She had made herself very clear all morning that she did not like me and that she wanted nothing to do with me. Loathing is a more apt word than hate for her attitude towards me today. During the snuggle time she asked when someone was coming to pick her up. I was puzzled and she told me that she was waiting for someone to come and pick her up and take her back to Singapore. I asked her where she would live in Singapore, with her first family? She replied no, just play around, see everything. Did she want to see her first family again? No. Then why did she want to return to Singapore? That is where I belong, she says. I had so hoped that she was making strides at finding a place in our family already. It stings just a little when we 5 have flung our arms open as wide as possible and opened our hearts to her, but I realize that no one helped prepare her for the change that was about to happen in her life. No one took the time to clue her into the facts of life that were permanently changing and give her the chance to say goodbye. It all happened around her but not to her.

Now she is in a strange place with admittedly strange people and she thinks that she has just been temporarily misplaced. She is waiting for her ride back to Singapore. If no one comes she told me that she will just walk there (she does have the concept that it took 3 loooooong airplane rides to get here, but reality and fantasy are not on speaking terms with each other).

Other than time bearing out the truth I pray for another way to help her connect the dots and come to terms with what is happening to her. This is all new terrain for us as we have never delved into disrupted adoptions before. It takes the adoption triad to a whole new level I think.

Notice in this picture that not just one coloring book is open but two. She was working on four pages at one go. We will soon run out of pages at this rate!